So I’m sitting in my room with my face glued to my monitor, the sun is fast setting outside but I don’t seem to notice the shadows getting longer. I’m still in my uniform from work and that’s saying a lot, the top always bugs the hell out of me with its rib string gnawing into my skin. It’s highly uncomfortable, but I endure it for the sake of some dollars. Tonight however, I am too engrossed in what’s in front of me to remember changing into something I can breathe in. It’s just me and my computer screen now, just me and my darling.

Everyone must know by now, the twin attacks yesterday in my home country Norway. The blasting of the governmental headqurters, rubble and glass everywhere, bloodied people on the streets, and then what really prompted my tears to fall: the massacre on Otoeya. In case you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard yet, you might want to make a quick detour to BBC NEWS before you read on. Having said that, I’m incredibly touched by the support from the international community we’ve had in this sorrowful time. We’re such a small nation, every fallen is a brother and a friend as our famous writer Nordahl Grieg put it. I’m very proud of our prime minister Jens Stoltenberg, our other politicians and the Norwegian media for handling this exceptionally well. In these two days Jens Stolteberg has proven that he truly is a befitting leader for our country with his humane and democratic disposition. Democracy is our present and our future, it must and shall prevail. The day we lose that to fear and despair is the day we have lost as a nation.

You must understand, that for something like this to happen to tranquil, beautiful Norway — it’s surreal beyond imagination. It’s a national tragedy we wish was only a nightmare. I’m currently across the pond still in England, and as far as I know all my friends and family are safe. All close friends know I don’t shed tears easily, hell I even used to be known as the ‘ice princess’. But here I sit tonight plastered to my screen, crying as I take in all the updated information and the death toll rising, stalking the websites of BBC and the major Norwegian newspapers. I’m a jumble of emotions, I’m not even directly affected, but it’s something so surreal and unimaginable that I can’t help myself. I’ve walked down those streets so many times in my life, what I see in the photos now are alien to me; the streets I had come to known covered in rubble and smoke billowing from buildings. I wanted to see other Norwegians, talk to them, clarify my thoughts and emotions, but I can’t. So I’m glued to my screen, not noticing the shadows getting longer and slowly taking over completely — and I write instead.

All my thoughts go out to my fellow countrymen tonight and the days to come. And we must all remember; democracy and humanity is our strength.