I wake up in my bed with a pang of sadness. I just feel so incredibly sad and I don’t even know why. Oh, wait, I do know why. It’s just that it sounds, well, rather silly.
I’m mourning a book series I just finished reading, and it’s always been like this whenever I finish a book series I’ve grown attached to. I can’t bring myself to start reading something new, I haven’t said goodbye to the characters I’ve come to love and hate yet, I’m not ready to let go. So I’m mourning because it’s the end of three, maybe six or seven books, because I’m forced to let them go and I know there is nothing left for me. Their story ended and I have to move on, but I don’t really want to.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a bookworm. And a major one at that. I was the kind of kid who read the school text books from page to page within the first week of getting them every single year. When I was in elementary school and my class took the first trip to the local library to have a library card issued to each of us, I was ecstatic. I remember clutching the white plastic card to my chest and asking one of the pretty librarians how many books I was allowed to bring home with me. Needless to say I was the kid who didn’t want to leave the library and wanted to borrow more books than I could carry. I used to bring plastic bags full of books home every few weeks, and since I grew up in an asian family which meant I had to walk home, it wasn’t an easy feat.
I was reading so much as a child that at one point my mother actually banned me from reading books. I know what you’re thinking, ‘What sane parent bans her child from reading?’. I know it sounds insane, but I preferred reading over playing with other children, which ultimately lead my mother to believe I would grow up to be socially dysfunctional (it’s OK mom, I turned out just fine), so banning of all books it was. But how on earth could I not read? I mean, I was (am) the kind of person who got so bored when I didn’t have a book to read that I would read the labels on tin cans and milk cartons because I didn’t have anything better to read. So you see I stayed up late in the evenings to read and stuffed the keyhole to my bedroom with paper so that my mother couldn’t see the light from my room shining through, and you know when your mother comes in sometimes to check if you’re sleeping? Yeah, that’s me quickly hiding the book under my duvet and pretending I’m asleep.
By the time I went to high school my friends used to say I had probably read half the local library, which by the way is an exaggeration. I did read most of the children’s and young adult sections, but I barely touched the adult books. I don’t really know why I never did, even to this day at my newly celebrated ‘adult age’ of 21 I actually prefer young adult fiction over ‘proper’ adult fiction. I enjoy my classics, Shakespeare is indeed one of my heroes, and thought provoking books are absolute treasures, but I have to admit young adult fiction is my favourite kind of book to get carried away in.
Which brings me to just how carried away and emotional I get when I have a novel in front of me. I get so carried away that I finish a novel at the size of 400-500 pages a day if I don’t have to go to work or lectures, and I get so caught up in what’s happening on the pages that I tune absolutely everything out. You’ll probably have to shake me or do something physical to get my attention, simply calling my name won’t work. One of my best friends was quite disappointed in me the other day when I missed out on the most hilarious sight of her brother trying to stuff a big bag of skittles in his mouth. Because I was reading. So you see, I can’t live without my books and I find it quite hard to part with book series that made me laugh or cry or whimper in anguish.
I don’t know, waking up after finishing a book series feeling devastated, perhaps it isn’t such an abnormality at all?
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Jeg kjenner meg godt igjen i barndommen din. Jeg husker jeg var på biblioteket alene en gang og ville låne noe sånt som 12 bøker.. Bibliotekaren som var på jobb var ny, og kjente meg dermed ikke igjen, og prøvde å påstå at jeg ikke ville rekke å lese alle på en måned uansett. Heldigvis kom en av de mer erfarne meg til unnsetning og fikk gjort det klart at DET ikke var noe problem.
Skulle gjerne sett historikken til lånekortet mitt, nå som jeg tenker meg om.
Hvilken bokserie fullførte du nå? Trenger noe ny skjønnlitteratur som motvekt til pensum these days.
I can relate to this in so many ways. My mother also banned me from reading once, I suppose she didn’t want me to turn into some socially retarded nut job either.
And, when ending a book… this is me – http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/126/314/3cd8a33a.png?1306264975
That’s why we feel old, and excellent. perhaps you’ve noticed, I finally have a personal website, but it’s still quite new and I’m not there yet to make it looks great, shame that I don’t even know how to set up the comment sections yet neither. But It will grow!
This is my life in a nutshell, of course, I also do this with series I’m watching, but with books in particular. I think that when you get so absorbed in something you’re reading, and so attached to the characters, you need to take the time to grieve a little before you move on. After all, you wouldn’t just go out and get a new friend if you lost someone close to you either.
I deem you perfectly sane.
Why don’t you ever post anymore? ;_ ; Do you have a new blog/tumblr?
Hahaa no this is still my baby! I’m sorry, sometimes I just need a kick to my shin to move things up my priority list!
I’m just now experiencing this for the first time. I just turned 26 last month and, though I would read some here and there, I find myself reading uncontrollably now. I just finished a series that, for the first time, left me a bit emotional. I had no idea I had become so attached to some of the characters. I feel as if I can’t move on to whatever I decide to read next until i’ve had the appropriate time for “grieving”.
I know how you feel.
I even buy books to keep me from reading the 1 i am attatched to. I start reading the new ones, forcing myself to keep savouring the other. Its like restraining yourself, a kind of nikotin gum instead of the cigarette i am yearning for ;-)
Hola. Realise there is about 2 % chance that you’ll ever see this, but ey, worth the try right? First, why can’t I see your videos, something about them beeing private? Second, I’m probably moving to Norwich this fall, and was just wondering what you think about the city and university ? :))
Haha I know you last posted in 2011, but I just came across ur blog now ;)
Hi there! I apologise for being rubbish at updating (and replying to comments), but I’m making those 2%! Unfortunately you’re right, you can’t see the videos because I adjusted the privacy settings! As for Norwich I’d say you’re making the right choice, in the three years I’ve been here so far I have never regretted coming here. Norwich is a beautiful city and UEA has a great atmosphere :)