My heart skipped a beat when I saw him walking into the hall. For a split second I stopped in my tracks, freezing completely, before resuming my business with the arrows, pretending like everything was normal. But in truth, my heart was hammering feverishly in my chest and I never relaxed. He was so beautiful. Tall and lean, his hair newly cut in a rebellious manner. It was longer than I remembered it. With slow and powerful strides he strolled towards his best mate whom I just happen to be standing not too far away from. The joy on his face, even the way his eyes were smiling when his friends were jokingly fighting with him, was so wonderful it was all I could do not to melt right there and then. Gazing at him, my lips curled into a smile I couldn’t fight. And I knew, that if anyone had been looking at me at that moment, they would have seen the warmth in my smile. They would have seen that this smile contained a fondness so tender it would have felt utterly wrong to snap me out of the enchantment.
He did not speak to me. Nor did he look at me as far as I know. Not that I tried either, out of fear.
He knew I was going to be there today. Why did he risk getting even more angry with me by coming? I knew the sight of me might tick him off again. But … it made me incredibly happy that he came. I could see him again, let my eyes rest on his face again, remind myself of why I fell so deeply in love with him that I can never be angry with him — even after being left with a shattered heart. It just felt so nice to see him again.
…and he was gorgeous. If he walks into me again in the future, you can bet I will be more than happy to see him. More than happy. I still care for him tenderly, and probably will for quite a long time. I can now believe it when people say; “As long as he’s happy, I’m happy.”
If I am able to smile and feel this soothing warmth when I see him happy and laughing, then yes, I think I will be happy if he is happy.
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Tags: emotions, feelings, tenderness
Wow.. I’m happy for you Kiyu. You’re really dealing with this better than I had expected. If only everyone could deal with it the way you do. I don’t know if I could. I’d rather not find out.. Or maybe I should. You’re so strong, and I should definitely look up to you :)
Look forward :)
Thank you honey. I’ve learnt a lot from this relationship and all it entailed. A lot. And … I’ve grown. Immensely.
I don’t wish for you to go through the same, I really don’t … It’s just too tough. Just stay happy for now, and think positive. Even when it’s pitch dark, try to hold on to potential sources of light. It’s so so vital for survival … :)