I miss him so terribly much.
Every now and then, I just miss him so much. It’s only natural, so I never make a fuss about it. ‘Cause you know, it’s normal to be upset after a break-up. It’s normal to miss…
However, this time it was particularly bad. First, it was just this cruel hollow feeling, this empty void. It was soon followed by the usual pattern where the longing kicks in and I just feel so terribly terribly sad. Then it feels like I can’t ever be happy again unless I can feel his strong arms wrapping around me and pulling me close to him like before, smoothing my hair back and whispering soothing words to me. Of course I know it’s not true, but in those painful moments when I just miss him so terribly much, this is how it feels like.
But this time around there was a new addition to the usual pattern; I was… sobbing. The other times I cried, it was only because he hurt me in some kind of way. Either by things he said or just the hopeless situation itself. And if you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m not particularly prone to crying in the first place… But this time… it was just because I missed him so much…
I started sobbing just like that, out of the blue, just because I missed him so…
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*hugs*
I hope you don’t mind that I start commenting now that I mustered up the courage not to be a lurker! :)
Aww Kiyu, if I knew you in real life, I would take you for a fast-paced girl’s night out :D I know it’s hard to do anything when you are weighted by a broken heart, but one of the best remedies is flushing out the sadness by being preoccupied! Eat an exotic dish you’ve never tried before, then go on a fast bike ride across the city, etc… heal soon, Kiyu!
Awh thank you so much (and I’m happy that you comment!). I’ve fallen ill now so adventures aren’t exactly top priority atm haha. I’m well preoccupied though, with battling off this illness and revising for my exams! xD But yeh, going to see Lion King the musical in easter so that’s gonna be good :)
They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Personally I’ve found this to be true more often than not. Be it family members, friends or in your case, a lover. Experiences like these, while painful, might help you grow as a person. That it hurts only means that it was true, and that what you had is something to be greatful for.
I hope you’ll feel better soon! <3 *hugs*
You know, I can’t agree more.
I’ve been in both ‘positions’ in a relationship, the one where I’m the one breaking the guy’s heart, and now the one who’s having her heart broken. And now, I can honestly say that I prefer this kind… The heartache, the pain, the sorrow, the prospect of possibly going out with searing pieces instead of a whole heart – it may be a tough price to pay but it’s worth it all to experience having… loved him.
Because I never have loved anyone as a partner before. In my world, the word “love” is not to be taken lightly. And I… I just happen to realize halfway through that I… loved him. I didn’t know it was possible, that I could love someone when I had such little experience, that I could love anyone this soon, and at such a young age too… It’s just… to love someone, it’s just such a big thing in my world. And because of that, I was in denial for so long. For so long, Helene… But I had to admit it in the end, and tell him too, and it was such a relief when I did.
He is the first man I ever loved, and it breaks my heart that I didn’t let myself believe it sooner. It’s just incredible this feeling, to love him. And I’ve grown immensely from this too, I know it, he knows it. I’ve changed so much in so many ways…
So yes, I heartily agree with you. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all :)
=( *hugs*