KIYU-SHII.NET

Oh to miss someone this much…

Kiyu — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:20:18 +0000

I miss him so terribly much.

Every now and then, I just miss him so much. It’s only natural, so I never make a fuss about it. ‘Cause you know, it’s normal to be upset after a break-up. It’s normal to miss…

However, this time it was particularly bad. First, it was just this cruel hollow feeling, this empty void. It was soon followed by the usual pattern where the longing kicks in and I just feel so terribly terribly sad. Then it feels like I can’t ever be happy again unless I can feel his strong arms wrapping around me and pulling me close to him like before, smoothing my hair back and whispering soothing words to me. Of course I know it’s not true, but in those painful moments when I just miss him so terribly much, this is how it feels like.

But this time around there was a new addition to the usual pattern; I was… sobbing. The other times I cried, it was only because he hurt me in some kind of way. Either by things he said or just the hopeless situation itself. And if you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m not particularly prone to crying in the first place… But this time… it was just because I missed him so much…

I started sobbing just like that, out of the blue, just because I missed him so…

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Golden brown

Kiyu — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:02:08 +0000

People keep getting surprised by my new hair colour, so yeah, I’m gonna tell you now and for all; I’m no longer red-haired. I dyed it brown a few weeks ago. My flat mates say it’s golden, but I don’t know … Oh well!

This is how patriotic I am

Kiyu — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:42:13 +0000

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Tenderness.

Kiyu — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:20:55 +0000

My heart skipped a beat when I saw him walking into the hall. For a split second I stopped in my tracks, freezing completely, before resuming my business with the arrows, pretending like everything was normal. But in truth, my heart was hammering feverishly in my chest and I never relaxed. He was so beautiful. Tall and lean, his hair newly cut in a rebellious manner. It was longer than I remembered it. With slow and powerful strides he strolled towards his best mate whom I just happen to be standing not too far away from. The joy on his face, even the way his eyes were smiling when his friends were jokingly fighting with him, was so wonderful it was all I could do not to melt right there and then. Gazing at him, my lips curled into a smile I couldn’t fight. And I knew, that if anyone had been looking at me at that moment, they would have seen the warmth in my smile. They would have seen that this smile contained a fondness so tender it would have felt utterly wrong to snap me out of the enchantment.

He did not speak to me. Nor did he look at me as far as I know. Not that I tried either, out of fear.

He knew I was going to be there today. Why did he risk getting even more angry with me by coming? I knew the sight of me might tick him off again. But … it made me incredibly happy that he came. I could see him again, let my eyes rest on his face again, remind myself of why I fell so deeply in love with him that I can never be angry with him — even after being left with a shattered heart. It just felt so nice to see him again.

…and he was gorgeous. If he walks into me again in the future, you can bet I will be more than happy to see him. More than happy. I still care for him tenderly, and probably will for quite a long time. I can now believe it when people say; “As long as he’s happy, I’m happy.”

If I am able to smile and feel this soothing warmth when I see him happy and laughing, then yes, I think I will be happy if he is happy.

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UEA Archery

Kiyu — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:10:09 +0000

Thanks Hui, for taking these photos!

UEA Archery

Jan’s 21st

Kiyu — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 00:44:01 +0000

Stole the photo from Terence because I didn’t bring my own camera. Jan’s birthday dinner, which was great! I’ll write later, I’ll also tell you about how I pretended to be a forensic scientist in labs a week ago — you know, like in shows like CSI and The Mentalist?

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As patriotic as ever

Kiyu — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 04:03:44 +0000

Photo stolen from Aftenposten.no. Hope they won’t sue me.

‘kay I want a Norwegian flag. To anyone who is going to England; do you mind bringing me one of those small 17th May flags, please?

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Tuesdays = pain

Kiyu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:24:31 +0000

Today I had my first go at a 9 – 18 day with lectures. It’s quite unusual as UEA students finish at 5 PM at the latest, and most students only have maybe 1-4 lectures/seminars/workshops a day, if not less. As a pharmacy student, I’m enrolled in 6 modules this term (7 last term), which means my days are quite hectic as you probably can guess by looking at half of my time table. Pharmacy mates suggested I might as well not turn up to the lectures, because I keep nodding off to dreamland in them. Might as well just get the lecture notes and then study by myself, they say. It’s probably more efficient for me, but I feel like I’m missing out on important knowledge if I skip, and also once I get into the habit of skipping there’s really no turning back.

So I try my damned hardest to not skip, but as soon as the course tests and mock exams start rolling in, I know I will screw it up …

So once I got back to my room after 9 hours sleepwalking on campus, I fell into bed and slept for a good few hours. Totally ruined my sleeping habit, but if you need some sleep, then you need some sleep.

Btw, that big gap on Wednesdays you can see on my timetable there is meant for club activities, meaning it’s the same for every single UEA student. There goes my archery sessions, and later in the evening society events might fight for your time and attention. (To me that would be literature, creative writing, rave and APES …)

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To twirl, or not to twirl!

Kiyu — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:44:08 +0000

One of my favourite words; twirl, because I tend to twirl whenever I’m giddy and happy. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, the word might be of Scandinavian (perhaps even Norwegian!) origin:

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Semester 2, week 1, weekend

Kiyu — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:24:55 +0000

Had a very lovely weekend indeed, spent most of it sleeping half the day away (that’s what you get when you watch a film with Chris until 4-5 AM), but the other half of the days were spent with loved ones. Sunday evening I attended a carol service at St. Martin’s Church here in town with Hui, and I gotta say; I love carol singers. It’s just so ethereal. One of Hui’s flat mates is a member of the choir, so that’s how we ended up being invited over there. Someone told me he thought it was kind of disrespectful of me to go to a church service when I’m neither religious nor a Christian, but hey, it’s not like I went to mock them. I simply went because I’m such an oddball that I want to experience anything new and different, especially if it’s something not everyone does. Plus, I find it to be beautiful. I do understand why he would find me to be disrespectful because I won’t understand the religious content of the service, but I still cannot agree with him. However, he is entitled to an opinion, so I didn’t argue.

We headed over to Hui’s favourite bar after church (proper sinners, we are), but when we neared the shut gates and realized the bar was closed, Hui threw herself onto the gates, howling miserably at the front door a few yards away. Haha! That was so brilliantly funny! She really loves that bar. So we ended up at Nando’s and had a delicious chicken meal instead. Yum. Chicken.

Billy’s birthday party is on upcoming Saturday, and I have no idea what to get him. What to give to a guy who seems to have everything?

Btw, doing midnight laundry is slightly creepy …

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