I have one question I would like you to take the time to think about: what emotion do you personally find is the most excruciatingly painful, and why is that?
Or if you can’t decide then perhaps you would like to pick one emotion you would like to reflect on a little? Is there any specific emotion, apart from what you think would be obvious (such as happiness, perhaps), that stands out to you? Anything that has stuck to your brain (not necessarily one you feel yourself) and intrigued you?
Personally I’ve always been very aware of how bittersweet is so heart-wrenchingly painful. I’m not saying bittersweet is the worst one out there as anyone could argue for a dozen other feelings that could be worse, but bittersweet has always been special to me, always stuck with me like a quirky little idea refusing to let go. I think it’s one of those that are sometimes easily taken lightly. Bittersweet might not sound that bad because there’s a sweet part to it — but I think it is exactly because of that sweet part that makes it so much more unbearable than had it been just bitter alone.
I often picture bittersweet as an epilogue. The ending to a war, the ending to a story. The aftermath after a great battle. Imagine standing in the middle of a battlefield newly victorious after a great battle and taking in the sight of the hushed field strewn with the dead bodies of your comrades. When that bone deep relief and weariness soaks into your body when you realize you just survived and won what was believed to be impossible, but at the same time you also feel like crying out in anguish and laughing a crazy humorless laugh because of the… painful victory. Victory, yes, but at what cost. It’s an overwhelming feeling of relief of having achieved the impossible, but hurting badly inside knowing so well what was sacrificed along the way.
Bittersweet is that mush of contradicting feelings where you’re happy, because of the good things that came out of something, yet you are in great pain due to possible sacrifices along the way. The whole situation is just kind of ironic to deal with such contradicting feelings, and it only adds to the pain. It’s gratitude laced with incredible pain.
You just don’t know whether you should laugh or cry.
It was brought to my attention that the comment page was going bonkers, it’s fixed now so you can leave a reply :) Sorry about that guys!