March 10th, 2010 by Kiyu
I miss him so terribly much.
Every now and then, I just miss him so much. It’s only natural, so I never make a fuss about it. ‘Cause you know, it’s normal to be upset after a break-up. It’s normal to miss…
However, this time it was particularly bad. First, it was just this cruel hollow feeling, this empty void. It was soon followed by the usual pattern where the longing kicks in and I just feel so terribly terribly sad. Then it feels like I can’t ever be happy again unless I can feel his strong arms wrapping around me and pulling me close to him like before, smoothing my hair back and whispering soothing words to me. Of course I know it’s not true, but in those painful moments when I just miss him so terribly much, this is how it feels like.
But this time around there was a new addition to the usual pattern; I was… sobbing. The other times I cried, it was only because he hurt me in some kind of way. Either by things he said or just the hopeless situation itself. And if you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m not particularly prone to crying in the first place… But this time… it was just because I missed him so much…
I started sobbing just like that, out of the blue, just because I missed him so…
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March 4th, 2010 by Kiyu
People keep getting surprised by my new hair colour, so yeah, I’m gonna tell you now and for all; I’m no longer red-haired. I dyed it brown a few weeks ago. My flat mates say it’s golden, but I don’t know … Oh well!
Posted in Hair styling, Kiyu's ramblings | 8 Comments »
March 3rd, 2010 by Kiyu
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March 3rd, 2010 by Kiyu
My heart skipped a beat when I saw him walking into the hall. For a split second I stopped in my tracks, freezing completely, before resuming my business with the arrows, pretending like everything was normal. But in truth, my heart was hammering feverishly in my chest and I never relaxed. He was so beautiful. Tall and lean, his hair newly cut in a rebellious manner. It was longer than I remembered it. With slow and powerful strides he strolled towards his best mate whom I just happen to be standing not too far away from. The joy on his face, even the way his eyes were smiling when his friends were jokingly fighting with him, was so wonderful it was all I could do not to melt right there and then. Gazing at him, my lips curled into a smile I couldn’t fight. And I knew, that if anyone had been looking at me at that moment, they would have seen the warmth in my smile. They would have seen that this smile contained a fondness so tender it would have felt utterly wrong to snap me out of the enchantment.
He did not speak to me. Nor did he look at me as far as I know. Not that I tried either, out of fear.
He knew I was going to be there today. Why did he risk getting even more angry with me by coming? I knew the sight of me might tick him off again. But … it made me incredibly happy that he came. I could see him again, let my eyes rest on his face again, remind myself of why I fell so deeply in love with him that I can never be angry with him — even after being left with a shattered heart. It just felt so nice to see him again.
…and he was gorgeous. If he walks into me again in the future, you can bet I will be more than happy to see him. More than happy. I still care for him tenderly, and probably will for quite a long time. I can now believe it when people say; “As long as he’s happy, I’m happy.”
If I am able to smile and feel this soothing warmth when I see him happy and laughing, then yes, I think I will be happy if he is happy.
Posted in England, Kiyu's ramblings, Norwich, UEA | 2 Comments »
February 24th, 2010 by Kiyu
Thanks Hui, for taking these photos!
Posted in England, Kiyu's ramblings, Norwich, UEA | 3 Comments »
February 2nd, 2010 by Kiyu
Stole the photo from Terence because I didn’t bring my own camera. Jan’s birthday dinner, which was great! I’ll write later, I’ll also tell you about how I pretended to be a forensic scientist in labs a week ago — you know, like in shows like CSI and The Mentalist?
Posted in England, Kiyu's ramblings, Norwich, UEA | 6 Comments »
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